Sunday, May 24, 2009

the cliffs of insanity

Tell me it's normal to veer between joy and despair when parenting the almost-threes.

Their developmental leaps are so amazing: suddenly they can catch a ball from several feet away, fix each other's train tracks, or sing a spontaneous (and on-key) duet of ma nishtana. And yet every time I turned around for the last two days somebody was hitting, somebody was crying, and somebody was yelling NONONO IWILLNEVER NOTATALL.

Yes, I know that's three kids. It seemed like it too. Oh, also somebody was caught with the pump of the liquid soap in his mouth, and somebody else was caught climbing a bookcase. I'm feeling the urgent need for a disciplinary tool other than time-outs, because by the 4th one today, I could swear I heard thumb-twiddling rather than crying.

In between the madness, they managed to come out with the following:


BET: [waving animal figures in the air while I change him] Lion and tiger ate you up!

EEMA: They ate me all up?

BET: They ate all of your parts!

EEMA: Oh my goodness.

BET: Your face and body crumbs fell out of their mouth!


EEMA: [helpless with laughter]


ALEPH: [referring to the doll we saw on top of an air conditioner last week] Why isn't the doll outside anymore?

EEMA: They probably took it inside. I mean, that would be a silly place to keep a doll, right? Dolls can't live outside.

ALEPH: Why not?

EEMA: Well, what if it rained?

ALEPH: I would change her clothes.

EEMA: What if the wind blew her away?

ALEPH: I would catch her.

EEMA: What if it snowed right on top of her?

ALEPH: I would warm her up in the microwave.

EEMA: [barely hanging onto straight face] Um. Well, what if she fell off? That air conditioner is pretty high up.

ALEPH: I would give her a kiss!

Good night boys, good work, sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.


Abacaxi Mamao said...

This is beautiful. I am so glad that you're writing all of this down. (Long time reader. Not sure I've commented before.)

OneTiredEma said...

Heh, you do read Ask Moxie, right? Three is a killer. My only confidence that I can handle it is that I did it once before and nobody got arrested.

Tine said...

I've got a newly-three here. And sometimes I do believe I'd rather battle an R.O.U.S.

SaraWolkenfeld said...

Wow. My almost-three is a singleton (in fact, I started reading your blog when I was pregnant with him). I don't know what I'll do when my twins hit that age!

miriamp said...

Completely normal.

And timeouts don't really work. (don't ask me what does, and I've done the 3 year old thing 6.5 times now!)

But you'll get through it, and one day the books will all stay on the shelf, and you'll miss it. (But not for too long.)

Ann said...

Love this post. May I remember it when I get closer to the threes!!!