Sunday, September 11, 2011

the thing is

I've been a lot better. But these days, facing my first trip to Israel where I won't see my sister at the other end, I'm worse again.

I know today I'm not the only one grieving.

I went back to read Emma's post from January, when we knew what lay ahead. I thought you might want to read it again too.

The Thing Is

to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you’ve held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.

- Ellen Bass


Tine said...

Thanks for those beautiful words (again). Wishing you strength for the journey to Israel.

Lut C. said...

Firsts are difficult, but you will make it through, and hopefully find some consolation where you don't expect it.