Thursday, April 30, 2009

criblog: the song of the count

Scene: I have no idea what Aleph is telling Bet he can't do - I hear the beginning of each sentence, but then he drops off to a mumble - but he sure has a long list of reasons why not.

ALEPH: ...Third of all, blahblahblah. Fourth of all, blahblahblah. Fiveth of all, blahblahblah. Fourth of all...

[short pause]

ALEPH: onetwothreefourfive Sixth of all,

Sunday, April 19, 2009

file under: narrowly unsaid

BET: Eema, why don't we have a sister?


EEMA: [um, what birds and bees?]

EEMA: [I'm guessing "because day 5 blasts are more likely to be boys" is not what you're looking for?]

EEMA: [oh, sweetie. you have no idea.]

Friday, April 17, 2009

riding in cars with aleph

Scene: On the way to Bubby & Zayde for Pesach. The direct approach sometimes backfires in the car, so I haven't declared it naptime, but I'm about to put on a naptime CD.

ALEPH: No Eema, no songs. It's better to sit quietly for a few minutes.

EEMA: Oh good, is it Quiet Time? [Quiet TimeTM: the half-hour before bedtime, which generally consists of soft lighting, low voices, and Rockabye Baby U2 or the Cure (thank you, Emma.)]

ALEPH: No, we don't need Quiet Time. Just a few minutes of quiet. ...With sitting. Just some quiet sitting.

Note: Aleph is out cold within 5 minutes.


Scene: Aleph discovers a new friend at Bubby & Zayde's, and invites her to his crib.

ALEPH: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, Minnie Mouse. I would like to sleeeeeeeeeep with you.


Scene: Aleph finds me stretched out on Bubby & Zayde's couch, feet crossed, reading a novel.

ALEPH: Ooh, Eema, can I read you a story?

EEMA: Sure.

[Aleph picks up another random novel and lies down exactly like me.]

ALEPH: A man grabs a toy from a child.

EEMA: Oh no. Then what happened?

ALEPH: Another man grabs a toy from another child.

EEMA: Oh my goodness. How will they get their toys back?

ALEPH: When the man is finished using them.


EEMA: That's quite a story, Aleph. What's it called?

ALEPH: Men Grabbing Toys from Children.

[Double duh.]

Saturday, April 11, 2009

now i'm going to have nightmares

From behind me in the car: *click*

is that noise what I think it is?

ALEPH: [brightly] Zayde presses this button to open my buckle!

yes. yes it is.

My still-2-year-old now knows how to unbuckle his own car seat.

And I thought the time he unlocked and swung open the front door was scary.

Friday, April 3, 2009

make that an awwwwwwww

Scene: Trying to cook for shabbat without children underfoot. NotMary Poppins is here for expressly that reason, but is not... shall we say... all that effective. Aleph has been in and out of the kitchen every 5 minutes.

ALEPH: [running in again] Eema, Bet says he's not gonna be done with the guitar at all!

EEMA: [poking head into playroom] Bet, do you remember what happens if you say you're not going to be done at all?

BET: Yeah.

EEMA: A grownup has to decide when you're done.

BET: I'm gonna be done in three minutes.

EEMA: OK, Aleph, it will be your turn in three minutes.

ALEPH: But Eema, I need help waiting!

EEMA: OK, sweetheart. Ask NotMary Poppins to help you.

ALEPH: [looking down and toeing the floor] But... I need my best grownup.