it doesn't get better than this

Sitting on my lap, Bet is playing his favorite combination of Eskimo-kissing and Twister, wherein we try to touch corresponding parts of our faces to each other. Both of us are giggling more and more as he goes on.

He starts with the classics:
nose to nose
mouth to mouth
eye to eye
forehead to forehead
hair to hair
ear to ear
cheek to cheek

then adds a new one:
Bet to Eema

...at which point I melt into a puddle of love on the floor.

also, is your refrigerator running?

Scene: Bet is talking to his grandfather on the phone. I am dying of laughter.

BET: Saba, how are you feeling?

SABA: I'm feeling fine!

BET: Animals.

SABA: [startled] What?

BET: Saba... are you thinking about animals?

SABA. Oh. Okay, sure.

BET: Saba... why are you thinking about animals?

SABA: [laughing] Because I like them a lot. Uh, cows, chickens...

BET: Dogs?

SABA: Yes, dogs too.

BET: What else?

and who taught you the word 'section', anyway?

Scene: The boys are playing their current favorite game, entitled "Hunting for Dimples," which involves running up and down the hallway with flashlights yelling "I found a dimple!" "I found another dimple!" Apparently inspired by the day I tried unsuccessfully to find studs under the drywall.

ALEPH: You have to hunt for dimples in this section.

BET: No, I don't want to.

ALEPH: But you have to!

BET: I'm hunting for dimples in this section.

ALEPH: That's not a section.

luckily, today was ALREADY bath day

Things you don't want to hear when you're putting the first boy on the potty, with the second boy & potty waiting behind your back:

BET: It's a hat!

They don't make 'em with seatbelts, do they?

let's play "i have food allergies"

Scene: Aleph is poring over a tiny-printed synagogue newsletter.

EEMA: What are you reading, Aleph?

ALEPH: I have to make sure there's no nuts in these in-dree-dients.

it'll be ANARCHY

ALEPH: [yelling] No no no no no Bet! You can't do that!

MARY POPPINS: Aleph, I don't like the way you're talking to your brother. Please don't tell Bet what to do.

ALEPH: [paraphrase; it was kind of jumbled, but I caught the key words] How about if next time I say yes?

MP: No, honey. Please don't tell Bet no or yes.

ALEPH: But... if we don't say no and yes, people will just do anything!!

Betisms*

* hmmm. I think I might have stolen this from Uberimma. Though of course she would have called them Barakisms or Iyyarisms.

Man, I'm going to be pretty sad when Bet stops calling the futon the "futime."

Others favorites he's already losing:
rhinoferos
torteghini
chikmunk

Aleph is the one more known for his consonant substitutions. He says /t/ for both t and k, and /d/ for both d and g, so his speech is sometimes a puzzle with way too many permutations to decipher. He can be remarkably patient, not to mention ingenious, in trying to make himself understood.

EEMA: What should we do next for the Name Game?

ALEPH: Dod.

EEMA: [Gd??]

ALEPH: Dod. Dod. Dod!!! [pause] A puppy!

But Bet has the funniest ones, possibly because they pop up so rarely. He sometimes - not always - uses /k/ for p. Resulting in this awesome slogan, the first time we took him to the pool:

BET: We're in the cool! You're in the cool!

We went around saying that for weeks. But this latest one beats all. Lance's mother, the last time she was visiting, taught Bet the phrase "in the nude" for when he's running around in his diaper avoiding pajamas. And it turns out Bet sometimes substitutes /m/ for n.

So now we occasionally have a half-naked boy racing around the house, yelling "I'm in the mood! I'm in the mood!"

Thanks for that, Mom. :D

i want to be your personal stalker

I think it's fair to say the boys are still recovering from my trip to Israel.

EEMA: I have to get dressed, I'll be right back. Lance, can you hang out with Aleph for a minute?

ALEPH: [bawling] nonononononono

EEMA: Aleph, I'll be right back! Abba is going to play with you.

ALEPH: But Eema. I need to watch you everywhere you go.